My 2010 Wish List

Gosh, how time flies, we've arrived on the LAST day of 2009 and I have not even made any New Year resolutions yet!

Well, short of lamenting over 'unaccomplished' resolutions 1 year from now, I've decided to come up with a 2010 Wish List instead, here it goes...

Left Handedness - Interesting Trivia

Are you a Left Hander? Know somebody who is a left hander?


Here are some interesting trivia about Left Handedness...

Do What You Love ! (Part 1)

“I’m a firm believer in the theory that people only do their best at things they truly enjoy. It’s difficult to excel at something you don’t enjoy.” (Jack Nichlaus)

Do you want to be happy?
Do you want to do what you love ?
Do you want to make a difference in the world?

Curiosity

Life seemed so beautiful back then
With my childhood friends I had so much fun
Everyday seemed new
They taught me all the things I never knew

“Stop dawdling away your time” yelled my parents
Coercing me to ignore their existence
Taming their presence every now and then
I miss my friends named What, Why, Who, Where, How and When

Penning these words in their remembrance
I still hope for their magical reappearance

Sometimes we all lament over the loss of wonder and curiosity we had in our lives while we were kids.

If you are aiming for personal growth and experiencing a more fulfilling life then it is worth improving your curiosity quotient.

Why should we be more curious?

The Refrigerator Test!

You will be asked four questions and you must rely on your common sense to answer them correctly.


According to Andersen consulting worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all of the questions wrong. But many pre-school children got several correct answers. Andersen consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.

Stranger in the Mirror (2) - Breaking Free and LIfe Transformation

Previously we talked about the Harsh critical inner dialogues of self doubts many people face. 
We also realised that we need to be aware of them and not let them run our lives, now we continue the journey on how to break free and regain control of our lives...

Breaking Free Creates New Possibility ....

Stranger in the Mirror (1) - Internal Dialogues

Pam is an accomplished dancer with a fit body and flawless complexion. Though a positive, successful, and engaging person, Pam avoided prolonged looks into her mirror. Negative streams of thought would chide her, “Your nose is too crooked. Your skin is a mess. You’re too fat. ...”.

Pam knew these conversations were untrue and fought back with an internal debate and attempts of positive thinking. However, these daily internal dialogues would creep back into her thoughts time and again and cast seeds of doubt in her mind. Hence, to avoid all these hassles, she simply stopped making eye contact with the ‘stranger’ in the mirror.

It is all too common for many people, when faced with an uncomfortable situation, to find relief in avoidance and distraction.

Seasons of Life

There's a time to work, a time to play
There's a time to stay, a time to leave
A time to return, a time for reunion
Nothing lasts forever, everything changes
Nothing is permanant, anything is possible
Sucess is not constant, failure is not fatal
Where there is a will, there is a way
If you think you can, you can
If you think you are, you become
My friends
Take heart, never give up
Follow your heart and realise your dreams!...

Inspirational Quotes

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow" (Eistein)

"The future depends on what we do in the present." (Mahatma Gandhi)

"Tough times never last, but tough people do." (R. H., Schuller)

"There is some place where your specialness can shine.  Somewhere that difference can be expressed.  It's up to you to find it, and you can." (David Viscott)

"The person who does not work for the love of work but only for money is not likely to make money nor find much fun lin life." (Charles M. Schwab)

Letting Go, Moving On

In life, many a times we find ourselves holding on to things ... be it past relationships, bad experiences, failed attempts etc... that we should really be letting go.


Letting go is difficult for us in so many ways.
Yet life calls upon us to do it, over and over again as it is part of our growth process.

We cannot move on to the new while continuing to cling to the old.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.

How can we soar to a higher plane when we place upon ourselves such heavy burdens from our past?

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind.
But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.


It is only in letting go that we can move on with our lives!
Don't you think so?
Don’t you think it’s time to let go?

夕阳，大自然的神奇表现。

面对夕阳，我们只有叹为观止，却无法将它停止。

心理学上就曾经说过，我们就感叹夕阳，欣赏它的美，不要想着去改变它，因为那是改变不了的事情。

现实生活中的我们，有时就是在试图改变一些根本改变不了的事情，最终导致自己精疲力尽不说，内心还充满了怨恨。

让我们就这么静静的看着夕阳的下落吧！

Be commited to Happiness - 2

How do we ‘practise’ being happy in daily life?

How do we ‘translate’ joy to practise in everyday life?
How do we 'make' ourselves happy, everday?

Happiness

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

The glass is both half filled and half empty.
It depends on how you choose to perceive it!

Stop worrying and be Committed to being Happy - 1

We previously talked about WORRYING and how unproductive it is.
Worrying certainly gives you something to do but gets you nowwhere!

We can stop unnecessary worrying if we can distinguish between the things that are within our control and the things that are not within our grasp.
Then, we will realise that a lot of nitty gritty things that we worry about daily are really not in our control! So why worry ?

Bear in mind always that YOU are in control.

But isn't that contradictory?  Afterall, we just mentioned that a lot of things we worry about are not within our control ?

On the Rocking Chair called 'Worry'

As humans, we are imperfect.

We have all made mistakes, we’ve all got things wrong, acted imappropriately, etc....

Whatever has happened, happened.

And there is no time machine for us to go back into the past to rectify our mistakes.

Stop acting like a Baby! (2) ... How to Stop Complaining

Most of the things we complain about are really beyond our control.
What’s the point then, yaking on and on about things you have no power to change?

But how do we stop ourselves from complaining?

Stop acting like a Baby! (1)

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.” —Dale Carnegie

As adults we sometimes still do act like Babies!

We attempt to be proactive in our life.

We set goals and puruse what we want.

But when things turn out otherwise, what do we do?

Letting Go, Moving on

Lovely story to share.
It is about holding on to things that we should really let go.
Here it goes...

All about EQ (2)

What does EQ consist of really?

There are 5 parts really, they are:

1) Self-Awareness – This is the ability to be 'in the know' of your own moods and emotions and also how those moods affect people around you.

2) Self-Regulation – This is self-control or the ability to 'think before you act'.

3) Motivation – Self-explanatory- The desire/ drive to do or achieve something.

4) Empathy – This is the ability to understand how others feel and wish to be treated.

5) Social Skill – The ability to interact with people positively.

Just pause for a while and rethink the above in reverse order.

You will see that they work hand in hand with each other...

... To interact well with people, you need to empathise with them...

.... You also need to be motivated to want to socialise well with others...

.... But before that, you must first be able to control your feelings and behaviour ....

..... Before you can control your feelings and behaviour, you need to be able to regulate your behavior you must first be aware of it.

To start all these, you need to first be very aware of your feelings.

You need to be aware of your emotions, even before you act!

When you are conscious and aware, you can start controlling yourself.

You can then stop yourself from snapping at your colleagues or your friends or family).

But how do we become self-aware?

You need to learn to observe yourself!

This means you need to stay vigilent for situations where you will feel negative emotions (angry, sad, bitter).

For some people, keeping a diary may help in tracking your negative emotions and tendencies to behave negatively (ie, snapping at people, outbreak of anger, etc).

Try it today!

This may be your first step towards building your self-awareness, self-regulation and a NEW YOU!

Remember: EQ CAN be developed. Nuturing your EQ is a journey. By becoming familiar with the concept of EQ, you have just started the journey.

All about EQ (1)

EQ = Emotional Intelligence.

Just as IQ = Intelligence Quotient,

Just as we have Intelligence Quotient, we also have emotional intelligence.

It is not about how fast you can solve maths puzzles but it is about 3 things:

i) self understanding and other understanding.

ii) self handling and other handling.

iii) our ability to get along with others and build relationships.

You may think EQ is Not important:

"Nah, what's all this stuff got to do with my daily life?", or

"hmm.. I'm just the programming guy, my work doesn't deal with humans", or

".. but that's just a Concept for counsellors and psychologists to work around,

doesn't concern me!"

EQ was popularized by Daniel Goleman in 1995. He proposed that IQ is not the only factor for success. More importantly, it is the ability to get along, understand and deal with various people that will determine and contribute to success.

P. Salovey and J. Mayer defined Emotional intelligence as :

“the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among

them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and action.”

The Center for Creative Leadership described the importance of EQ in 1994 :

"75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including inability

to handle interpersonal problems; unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or

conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust.”

So do you still think that EQ is not Important?

Think again...

Purpose in Life - Part 2

Previously we talked about everyone having a purpose in life.
Everyone is here for a reason.
Everyone is here to solve a certain problem or serve a certain purpose.

So where does that lead us? Knowing that we all have a unique purpose in life.

Do we just sit around?
Do we just wait for a ‘sign’ ?
Do we just wait for our purpose to be realised by itself?

Of course not! You need to be Proactive! What good is a screw driver if it is sitting in a box never to be used!

But how do you proceed if you are not sure of your purpose or have no idea what it is?

The solution is to look at the activities that you usually enjoy. Just think, what do you like doing? Is it talking to people, is it singing, is it writing or DIY jobs, etc? Continue doing the things that you enjoy doing, eventually you will know what your true purpose is, if you remain in action.

All in all, it is imperative that we focus and try to find our life purpose.
If you yourself do not know what your purpose is… then no one else will know either.
No one can benefit from it.

We should dedicate our life to discovering our purpose and fulfilling it.
It is only by doing so that we can attain ‘self-actualisation’, which is the realisation of one’s potential and the highest state in Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs.

Be free to soar where you will, achieve your potential and your dreams!

Purpose in Life - Part 1

When I was a child, I used to keep birds and fish as pets.

I especially like playing with my fishes a lot. You may wonder, just how one plays with a fish?

Well, that’s simple. You see, I used to keep a small fish bowl with several small fishes inside (such as Angelfish, guppy and fighting fish). Whenever I fancy, I’ll stick my little palm into the bowl, grab a fish, take it out of the bowl and place it on the floor beside me.

Being a curious child, I noticed that when the fish is out of water, it could not move/walk /fly and it doesn’t seem to fare very well.

However, when I put the fish back into the water again… Viola! A miracle happened…and they were able to move freely again!

Now as I recall, I think we are like the fishes.

We may not all be rocket scientists or Mozart, but there must be something that we can do better than anyone else.
That something is our unique purpose!

All of us belong somewhere. In other words, there should be something that you can do better than anyone else. There should be a problem that you were created to solve, a problem that you will love solving.

Just like the fish, there is a place where you can swim freely.
Just like the bird, there is a place where you can soar to your heights freely.

When you are where you are supposed to be… NO one can compete with you!

Cross Roads ...

Which Road Should I Take?

“Would you tell me which way I ought to go from here?” asked Alice.

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get,” said the Cat.

“I really don’t care where” replied Alice.

“Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go,” said the Cat.


- Quote from the Alice in Wonderland Movie

Creativity

Creativity ...

I would rather be

Insightful but naive than

matured but cliche!


How many times have we come up with an idea, be it for work, at home or just during everyday life?
How many times have we shrugged it off, saying to ourselves " Nah, don't be silly, nobody has done that before!"

Nobody has done it before!
So does that mean the idea will never work?
Or is it because, we are afraid of being ridiculed for doing something differently?

When Thomas Edison and other Scientists experimented with electrical light bulbs, it was a whole new ball game to the traditional candle light. But see how the humble light bulb has become an everyday necessity.

When Sigmund Freud came out with his psychoanalytic theories of personality, it was dismissed as unscientific and baseless. However, who would have know that the basis of his theories have spawned much research and theories in psychology.

The list can go on... but the point is obvious.

Perhaps we are too afraid of failure, ridicule or rejection.
Perhaps we just give ourselves too many excuses "nah, I'm not bright enough", "I'm not strong enough", etc, etc, etc


So we stick to 'tried and tested' ways of doing things and Living our lives!


Isn't it time, we challenge our old ways of thinking and start seeing the possibilities in change?

Excuses excuses...

As humans we are not only imperfect.

We also tend to make excuses.
Big excuses, small excuses, day in, day out

We all make excuses....


I can’t because …
...I’m too tired.
... I don’t have the time.
... I don’t have the money,
.... I don't have the equipment,
.... I don't have the space.
.... I am not talented enough
..... I am not smart enough

... I am not pretty enough

.. etc etc etc...


Excuses are like maggots.
They may be tiny but if there are a lot of them.
They will eventually eat us up!

So how do we stop excusing ourselves?



Let me recommend two ways:



i) Try to see the positive and the fun side of things!

Excuses are usually made because we don’t feel like doing something

Especially when we do not like to do something or feel negative about doing something,
for example,
wake up early in the morning for exercise, taking additional classes to learn more, etc
In such cases, try to adopt a positive attitude and look at the fun side of things.
Think about the fresh air, refreshing feeling of the morning air, or the interesting people you may meet in
class, etc

You’ll find yourself making fewer excuses.



2) Be accountable.

Excuses are our evil little ways of wriggling out of owning up to something or doing something. If we don’t have the time, money, etc., then it’s not our fault, right? Wrong. Start taking responsibility and soon you will see the solutions. In this light, it also helps if you have a workout partner, a project partner, or just someone to account to... get it?


See your goal and be motivated by it! Visualize your goals and just get started.

Let's all start having fun and stop making Excuses today !

Are you fascinated by personality quizzes and tests?
I'm sure most of us like discovering more about ourself?
Actually, I am a HUGE fan of such Psychological tests.

There is a 2000 year old Psychological Test that offers great insights into your personality type.
This test works by identifying your primary negative tendency. And I can show you how to turn that around into positive ones.

5 PRIMARY TENDENCIES

The 5 primary tendencies and their corresponding emotions are:

1. Desire - The tendency to want to do certain things, or to feel a certain way, but these people are often frustrated by countless obstacles in their efforts.

2. Pride - People with this tendency think they are superior to everyone else.

3. Anger - These people feel angry all the time, even when things are going their way.

4. Jealousy - People in this group cannot stop comparing themselves to others.

5. Denial - This group covers the tendency of those who just "don't want to know."

You will usually relate to more than one of these tendencies.

Would you like to discover how to turn your negative emotions and tendencies into positive feelings? Read on...

1. Desire - The antidote for desire, is to learn to let go and allow the solution to come to you! Just as simple as that.

2. Pride - The antidote for Pride is to travel more and see more wonders of the natural world and its inhabitants (human and animals).

3. Anger - Angry people are often highly strung and tensed, the solution is to learn how to RELAX.

4. Jealousy - People in this group should devote more of their time to helping the less fortunate. Then, they will see how blessed they already are.

5. Denial - These people need to be told and led to the 'Truth' gently and in good timing

Stress and Anxiety

When stressed, people usually feel anxious. Spielberger (1972) developed the State-Trait Anxiety Inventory (STAI) which distinguishes between state and trait anxieties.

State anxiety is one’s situational response to external threats.

The S-Anxiety scale consists of twenty statements that evaluate how respondents feel "right now, at this moment."

Example of the questions :

1 2 3 4
Not At All Somewhat Moderately So Very Much So

A. I feel at ease 1 2 3 4
B. I feel upset 1 2 3 4


Trait anxiety is one’s tendency to panic in expectation of threats.

The T-Anxiety scale consists of twenty statements that assess how respondents feel "generally."

Example of the questions :

1 2 3 4
Not At All Somewhat Moderately So Very Much So

A. I am a steady person 1 2 3 4
B. I lack self-confidence 1 2 3 4


Studies have concurred on this distinction and found that state and trait anxieties are correlated. (Bedell & Roitzsch, 1976; Laroque & Obrzut, 2006; Millimet & Gardner, 1972).

This means that people who are easily anxious when faced with a stressful situation are actually generally on a higher level of anxiety. Perhpas this is also related to the personality of neuroticism.

Hence, being uptight or anxious easily may perhaps be in one's blood after all.

Relationships and Plants

We all know that plants need watering and tender loving care.

Have you ever forgotten to water a plant for several days and noticed it withered?
Plants need attention, warmth and pruning and sometimes replanting – much like the Relationships in our lives!

Relationships can also wither away without time, attention and tender loving care.
However, relationships are even more complicated than plants.

Sometimes we may be at a loss as to which relationships need attention and which need replanting!
Sometimes we remain bitter or angry with our loved ones for a long time, so long that such negative emotions affect our health physically and mentally.
Indeed, don’t you feel a great weight off your shoulders when you finaly forgive someone or let things go?

Take a moment today to consider:

What relationships of yours need some time and kind attention?
Which relationships are overgrown and should be pruned back a little?
Is there any relationship due for replanting/rejuvenation?

What else can be more important than the relationships in our lives, for very often, they define our lives and who we are.

TAKE A LOOK at your RELATIONSHIPS Today, don’t neglect them, otherwise, they may not be there much longer.

The Art of Breathing

Breathe!

It can transform your life.


Breathing is an act that we do automatically since birth. We take it for granted that we all know how to breathe. But do you really know how to breath correctly?

The correct way of Breathing should bedeep and gratifying.
One should feel rejuvenated and relaxed with each life sustaining breath.
One should inhale, relax and ket the air fill your diaphragm and your abdomen.
Correct breathing should engage not only the chest but the diaphragm and abdomen.


The wrong way of Breathing is shallow and tedious.
The wrong way of breathing is not gratifying and makes people feel more tensed and tired.
The breathing only engages the chest and shoulders, making the person more tired.

Breathing is a science as well as an Art.
Learn the art of Breathing now!


Breathe, when you feel stressed and overwhelmed,

Breathe, when you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday.
Breathe, when you are moving too fast.

Breathe, when you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened
Breathe, when you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life.

Breathing will remind you about how precious life is.

Each breath is a gift you need to appreciate.

Each breath will help bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now.

Breathing will remind you to slow down, and enjoy life more.

So breathe. And enjoy each moment of this life.

The Secret to Happiness :

... lies in the Art of Simple Living!

“Simplicity is the essence of happiness.” - Cedric Bledsoe

A lot of the complexity in our lives come when we try to keep up certain appearances.
A simpler, happier life can be achieved when we drop those appearances and just live naturally, without pretense.

Do we spend a lot on expensive clothes so we can impress our superiors or fancy a huge house and luxury car to show off to our neighbours or try to impress others with our knowledge?

Shaking off these pretenses, results in simplicity and we become more true to ourselves.
Learn to live a simpler, more natural life, and drop the pretenses one at a time. You’ll be glad you did.

There are many ways you can live a simpler life in various areas. What areas have you changed by dropping pretenses? What areas would you like to change? Do feel free to share in the comments!

Collection of Inspirations : August 15

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." (Abraham Lincoln)

The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination." (Rogers, 1961)

"If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it." (W. A. Ward)

Welcome to my blog

Welcome to the Daily Inspiration blog!


Need that extra push, motivation to help you make it through the day.

Unravel the mysteries of life and love.

Understand yourself and others better.

You can do all that here....

This is a blog for everyone, read on and have fun !