5 Ways to Eliminate Negative Emotions 4

You see, we all have internal programs we learn. Sometimes we learn them in childhood, and sometimes we learn them as adults.

Some of these programs aren’t helpful, such as constantly worrying, stopping yourself from writing, or scaring yourself so much that you can’t go after your dreams.

It’s not that these programs are bad, because they work perfectly. The problem happens when they stop you from doing something you want.

That’s when you need to change the programs within you.

The Bottom Line

5 Ways to Eliminate Negative Emotions 3

4. The Work

The Work was created by Byron Katie, and it’s a system of four simple questions:

• Is it true?

• Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

• How do you react when you believe this thought?

• Who would you be without this thought?

That’s how it starts, and while my paraphrasing of the questions may not be perfect, the questions still hold power, because they open up your mind and beliefs to new possibilities.

There are so many options to feel better that I am confused about the fact that people still try to drink and eat their problems away.

5. NLP

Last, but definitely not least is NLP, which I use when I work with my own clients. NLP gives you the user’s manual for your brain.

It allows me to help my clients achieve quick changes that have big ramifications in their life.

As an example, one client came to me with writer’s block. She had trouble with anxiety when she sat down to write.0

She loved writing, but it wasn’t happening. She had some bad memories and experiences from the past around writing, and when we cleared those up, everything changed.



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Written by Henri Junttila

5 Ways to Eliminate Negative Emotions 2

2. Acceptance

This is another part of being in the now. Most people try to run away from their negative emotions. They eat, watch TV, have sex, read, or hang online.

When you get curious about the feeling and accept it as a part of you, it tends to disappear.

But how do you accept it when it feels so painful?

That’s the first hurdle you have to overcome, because when you do, you will realize that the pain was only half an inch thick.

You can either learn to let go of your negative emotions, or you can keep doing what you’ve been doing up until this point.

3. EFT

EFT is weird, but it works. Nowadays I use something called FasterEFT, which is more efficient and uses a few tricks from NLP, or Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

It’s faster, and it works better than classic EFT, at least for me. The mistake most people make is they dismiss EFT because of how it looks.

Another mistake is that they use it a few days and give up. Changing how you feel means going in and cleaning stuff up, and most of us have a lot of garbage stored in our brain, so it takes time.

But after a while you start feeling a deep sense of peace, joy, and wholeness. At that point you know that it’s all worth it.

Stay tuned for the more ways

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Written by Henri Junttila

5 Ways to Eliminate Negative Emotions 1

Do you ever experience negative emotions to the extent that you wish they would just go away forever?


We all do, and most people suffer unnecessarily because of them.

The good news is that you don’t have to do that. The bad news is that most people will do it anyway, even though the tools are right in front of their eyes.

Why?

Theories of love - Part 1

Psychologists and researchers have proposed a number of different theories of love. The following are some major theories proposed to explain liking, love, and emotional attachment.

Liking vs. Loving
Psychologist Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is made up of three elements: attachment, caring, and intimacy. Attachment is the need to receive care, approval, and physical contact with the other person. Caring involves valuing the other persons needs and happiness as much as your own. Intimacy refers to the sharing of thoughts, desires, and feelings with the other person.

Based upon this definition, Rubin devised a questionnaire to assess attitudes about others and found that these scales of liking and loving provided support for his conception of love.

Compassionate vs. Passionate Love
According to psychologist Elaine Hatfield and her colleagues, there are two basic types of love: compassionate love and passionate love. Compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust. Compassionate love usually develops out of feelings of mutual understanding and shared respect for each other.

Passionate love is characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety, and affection. When these intense emotions are reciprocated, people feel elated and fulfilled. Unreciprocated love leads to feelings of despondence and despair. Hatfield suggests that passionate love is transitory, usually lasting between 6 and 30 months.

According to Hatfield, passionate love arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal lover, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person.

Ideally passionate love then leads to compassionate love, which is far more enduring. While most people desire relationships that combine the security and stability of compassionate with the intensity of passionate love, Hatfield suggests that this is rare.

The Color Wheel Model of Love
In his 1973 book The Colors of Love, John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel. Just as there are three primary colors, Lee suggested that there are three primary styles of love. These three styles of love are: (1) Eros, (2) Ludos, and (3) Storge.

Continuing the color wheel analogy, Lee proposed that just as the primary colors can be combined to create complementary colors, these three primary styles of love could be combined to create nine different secondary love styles. For example, a combination of Eros and Ludos results in Mania, or obsessive love.

Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving

Three primary styles:
1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
2. Ludos – Love as a game
3. Storge – Love as friendship

Three secondary styles:
1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

So, what's your theory of love?  Feel free to post your comments and don't forget to follow us at http://twitter.com/dailymotiva

Modern Valentines: Romeo and Juliet